Saturday, October 3, 2015

Pedestal / letter to a role model

Damn you.
I thought you had it all together. I envied you. I wanted to be you. Even though we weren't in the same generation, I wanted to be like you when I grew up. You had it all, respect, family, the toys, the position in the church, you were a rockstar.
And you let it go. You traded it in. And everyone knows why. Some people saw it coming. I  didn't. I couldn't even imagine you doing anything like that. Not only because I thought that you were a better man than me, but because of the children.

 I had you on a pedestal. Even after the other disappointments.

You let me down. That's not important. You had responsibilities and turned your back on them. People counted on you, some more than others.

What have we learned today? That even the mighty fall, even the mighty are tempted, and if better men than me succumb, then I must be vigilant.

No man is an island, and your absence leaves some positions empty. Some can be filled. Some can't.

In the name of God repent! Come back. Humble yourself, humble yourself, listen to your elders.

This is what I would say to composite of people, certain people who I can picture in my mind, who I respected from a distance, who really disappointed me, and in their actions caused great harm to their family.

I wasn't close enough to be their Nathan.


Just for a moment I was back at school
And felt that old familiar pain...

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