Saturday, July 20, 2019

Bland, boring, flexible.

You keep changing what you like...
You don't care about anything anymore...
You are impossible to shop for at Christmas...

And I'm trying to figure out how much of that is the Bland setting in with the Busy.

I have been known to download apps on my phone, play them for a while, and once they get too hard or too addictive or too demanding, just delete them
(Candy Crush, FIFA among others)

Sports...see other blog.

TV... while my FB feed was full of people looking forward to the next ep of Game of Boobs, I was trying to finish watching Star Trek: Deep Space 9. And now I'm picking from some of the better episodes of the original Star trek series. I have a TV in my bedroom, I never turn it on.
 I usually watch Netflix in the living room.
 There's a cable TV app for my cable provider where I can watch any of the channels we have, I never use it except when my wife wants me to figure out why it's not working.

My wife is mad that there's so little I deeply care about. I'm trying to figure out how much of that is a safety mechanism, realizing how busy I am and how I have to be FLEXIBLE...

That's the word of the decade. Flexible. Being able to find employment based on everyone else's needs.

Night shift. Work from home. Not taking the job when it outsourced 37 miles away. Second shift. Grocery runs in the middle of delivery runs.

I occasionally ask Ivy how she would feel if I got a six-figure job (which is more than we've ever made combined right now) where I had to be at my desk from 8 to 5, 30 to 50 miles away in the big city. To her that's a nightmare.

Rambling, but I guess I'm thinking about both the bland and the flexible and how they relate, how I'm bent ten different ways like a pipe cleaner.

I tried to imagine what I would do with a massive windfall. And after all the essentials, I drew a blank. Besides generic "success" / having enough for everyone else to do what they want...

Except...I keep coming back to Julia Roberts' character with Eggs Benedict...

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