Scatterbrained.

It's a lot easier to blog about my past, guided by a hand-picked list of events and tunes #mondaymelody starting July 4; than it is to blog about my present or my future.

Going for the old bullet points method.

• One of my kids has a peanut allergy that has accelerated quickly.  Packing benadryl, inhaler, epi-pen, and reading labels thoroughly.  But...I'm scared.  And after what happened this week - the worst reaction yet - I've never seen any of my children in that much danger before.  
• This whole summer job thing is bringing in some serious cash for my kids.  Molly works with Ivy at the grocery store, and she's rocking in the bakery & deli.  Noah and Olivia are helping one of our friends in church with some yardwork.  And the younger three (Noah, Olivia, Zack) are hitting downtown on the weekly Shopper route each Tuesday.  
• I'm posting a lot of political thoughts under the hashtag #ksleg on my twitter feed.  Being somewhat neutral on the twitter, although for multiple reasons, I know who I'm voting for the 41st House District.  #teamtony
• Copa America.  As of posting, the US needed a result to advance to the bracket phase, which would probably mean a matchup with Brazil at New Jersey's Metlife Stadium.  We've almost beat Brazil a couple times, but it's Brazil.
• Watched Agenda 2: Masters of Deception last week.  tl;dr - Author makes somewhat convincing case that USA is being prodded in multiple directions away from liberty and towards ever-increasing gov't, potentially ending with the US turning into a socialist/communist country.  
• I spend a hell of a lot of time in my car making small trips.  1 mile to my wife's job; 3 miles to my job; 3 miles to Wal-Mart; 1 mile to church; 1 mile to my kid's self-defense class; all those miles on the previously mentioned Shopper route.  Even without a 45-mile one-way commute, I'm still going less than a week between refilling my gas tank. #firstworldproblems
• I miss Xanga.  #2eprops
• My grandparents...that might be worth breaking the Saturday rule.  #06/16/56

No, I'm not adding #fridayflyovers

On July 4, this blog makes a major change.

#mondaymelody

Saturdays With Steven...now on Mondays too?!?!?!

#retrospective

For 26 Mondays...one song, and a few thoughts.

#romans_837

Skimming over the last 36 years of my life.

#staytuned

Backup plan

So, I found some old thumb drives last month. I'm now going over tons of old pictures, archives, and documents, trying to remove duplicates, and maybe those files I'll never ever need (like anything related to the politics of the city I left 2 ½ years ago)

A) I start by sorting into images, music, videos, and everything else.
B) I have everything else sorted by year, although a big gap between 07 and 09. Guess that computer didn't get backed up.
C) With all the phone backup and thumb drive backup, I had numerous copies of some pictures, videos, and music. So images are sorted by year (again, very few between 2002 and 2009 ugg), and try to cull duplicates.
D) I still have the Xanga archives
E) I can back up random and images in under 2GB. Music and video will take much more room.
F) A few disks I used to have but either got scratched or lost in move and didn't make the chain of mp3 backups. Sigh. Especially Brad Paisley's first album.
G) A very large folder for all of Ivy's stuff from college and her phones. No touchie.
H) Our friend sent my wife the links to the renewal pictures. Trying to get a chance to download all 235? of them, let Ivy go print them out, etc.
I) However, the computer may be leaving the attic. It's too hot in the attic when it's hot outside.

Isolation and Irrelevance

15 years ago, I talked to a friend of mine about some of the problems I was having with living at college. I felt like an outsider, without strong relationships with my classmates, my friends from the various groups I attended, et cetera. And when I say talked I mean wrote letters longhand. And several of them were tear- stained, something that's odd even for me. I didn't really get an answer from my friend, and I spent most of the last 15 years struggling with perceived isolation and perceived irrelevance.

I felt this way about several of my jobs, including my eight years as a programmer in Leavenworth. I was the youngest , I was the one who wasn't buying new cars new trucks big houses and I have to concede that a jealousy hit hard those days. I still have problems with jealousy  - ask my wife how I feel about the Legends shopping center. (Like a lactose intolerant ice cream truck driver, or just so painfully jealous that I never never want to go there again.)

The young adults group at the church in St. Joseph was another example of me being the outsider. Young with family, many miles away, and not part of the old group, I wasn't one of them.

Then we have perhaps my best-case of dream becomes a nightmare, city of Severance. The only geek in the town. The only Big Town guy in a very very small town, or at least it felt like it. The only reason I was on the city council was because there was an opening there and the city was short on volunteers. They didn't ask me for advice. For various reasons they tried to get me off the council at several times, and I suppose reasonably so. For various reasons I'm very glad we got out of Severance and I promise you no one misses me.

And then there was my blog. Two of them. With very very few comments or readers. Just proof that my ideas were either irrelevant, or no one wants to change their mind (yeah, no one does)

I'm lost my confidence on my skills and opinions, so I've got no point speaking my mind if I'm not even sure I'm right. Hard enough to persuade when one is persuaded.

So what is it? Was it being homeschooled that possibly affected me? Or the attempted following of Gothard ? (imagine Duggars with an alcoholic father) Or being a genius and therefore accelerate ahead of my peers? (high school graduate 15, bachelor's graduate 19)
Or being the adult child of a now deceased alcoholic?

But this has been a problem for years...

I want to be somebody.

America the Great?

Is America a great nation?

I hear many people wanting to talk about how America was once great and is now not great, or how America has fallen from greatness. And I'm left to wonder, how do you define greatness?

Possible answers:

Economy. Gross national product, exports, per capita income, upward mobility, strong middle class, low income inequality, employment, low inflation??

Military strength.  Largest army, most advanced weapons, plenty of nukes in the silos, winning the wars the nation chooses to fight?

Is it defined by following a moral code, or by religion?  Is it because America is good? Being a "Christian nation", whatever the hell that means? Leading the world in the new morality, treating everyone with equality? Holding on to the old morality? More progressive? More socialist? Less progressive? Less socialist? Low crime? High adherence to a religion "and I don't care what it is"

To those who claim that we were born a Christian Nation, although I understand your arguments in favor of that, I have to question how deep the Christian ethic sunk in, in a nation whose history is splattered with the blood drawn from the whip on the back of the black man, and the blood of the red man as we crossed the borders and broke every treaty we made with them. 

Fifteen years

’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, And grace will lead me home.

Fifteen years ago, the adventure of married life began.  And today, at the church I currently attend, I'll be renewing my vows with my wife.

	November 2000, engaged
	April 2001, wedding pictures
	August 2007
	May 2013
	April 2016

2nd Title. 1st Commandment

Several months ago, the Royals won the World Series. There was a parade. And the largest crowd Missouri had ever seen came to celebrate the Royals victory on Tuesday, November 3.

A friend of mine felt that the adoration and celebration of that 800,000 fan crowd constituted idolatry.

Was it idolatry?  Let's go to the dictionary.

Idolatry. 1) The worship of idols, images, or any thing made by hands, or which is not God.
(Not really the applicable definition, let's go to...)

2) Excessive attachment or veneration for anything, or that which borders on adoration [defined by this dictionary as "the act of paying honors to a dive being; the worship paid to God; the act of addressing as a God / Homage paid to one in high esteem; profound reverence."]
So...thank you, Noah Webster, it comes down to a question of whether we're worshipping our sports heroes/teams...
Worship...To adore, to pay divine honors to, to reverence with supreme respect and veneration.
In my opinion...I wouldn't call attendance at a victory parade for a league championship a violation of the 1st Commandment.
BUT... it goes to the same question about any hobby or interest...at what point is it too much. Parade? Season tickets? Road trips to follow the club? I leave that to the conscience of my reader.