The mighty have fallen

Some of the most respected names in Christendom end up on the front page, with the words "disgraced" next to them.  The one who misused church funds.  The one who couldn't keep the vows with the wife of his youth.  The one who ... yeah, most of them either fall to sexual lust or greed.

Now, there's a new jerk, who's facing accusations of inappropriate behavior with young women and teenage girls.
But this one hurts (perhaps more than the last one), because my family respected his teachings for several years.  Went to his seminars.  Made lasting decisions based on his interpretation of Scripture.

(Now, whether he got it right, or whether we could've been as successful as his most famous disciples...There's a whole other set of questions for another time...)


But it becomes a question...of the Christians who have reached a point of influence...are any of them keeping their hands clean and their hearts pure?

We who claim the name of Christ are held (and probably should be held) to a higher standard.  To be wise stewards of the money entrusted to us (whether as the managers of their homes or as the leader of the ministry), to be faithful to our spouses.

But if even the Psalmist-king ...

kyrie elieson

Membership has its responsibilities

I have joined three churches in my life.

As a child, our entire family joined a church in our hometown of Leavenworth.  This is the church I grew up in, was baptized in, and - briefly - I was a member of the choir in that church.

As a junior at Missouri Western, I joined a church in St. Joseph.  This is the church I was married in, my children were baptized in, and - briefly - I was a member of the choir in that church.
Although I no longer attend that church, I still listen to the podcasts of the sermons.

Earlier this year, after several years of very-sporadic-church-attendance, I joined a different church in St. Joseph.  I was there because of family and because our pastor has two driving motives: unity in the body of Christ, and that whole "turning the hearts of the fathers to the sons" thing in Malachi.

Then everything changed.  OK, mainly the zip code.

I'll keep you posted.

Don't say that!

Every now and then, I go off.  Something hits a nerve, and I wince.

• God doesn't make mistakes.  
• Any story of child abuse involving a stepfather / boyfriend-of-mother
• Everything happens for a reason
• Urban legends.

Wonder if it means anything.

Leave me alone

"The one thing that keeps us out of connection is the fear we're not worthy of connection." - Brene Brown. 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are ...

No, it's that we're not only inadequate, but that we are a bother.

I'm tired of it.  Tired of feeling I'm the 'needy friend'.



I'm in pain.  My ducks are running off in nine different directions.  And I need someone to talk to.
But I feel like...like in some of my friendships...that I'm leaning on them too much when I need to vent, or work out a problem in my head.

That's why I was going to therapy.  Over-simplifying, paying a professional a huge amount to...listen.

It's not that I don't have much to say...it's that there's not much I really want to talk about.
 And not much that's really that interesting...news, religion, sports, family, finance, technology
it's either in a universe so foreign and distant to me,
or it's in a world of hurt and failure I call my existence.

Sorry, no category

• I wish I had something to say
• Four weeks, and the only blog is this?
• OK, fine, unleash the pocketed blogs.
• I wish I had answers to certain questions
• I wish they'd change the playlist
• I wish I had more on my playlist
• The letter I got was a blessing
• I looked at the signs of the times, and I decided to max out my 401(k)
• I was right...hundreds of channels, nothing to watch
• The old laptop has seen better days.  And it's last lap.  But not it's last days.