Saturday, July 11, 2015

Irrational exuberance.

The failure to receive the full miracle leads to A Monday Morning Quarterback session. And for a person who believes that he has seen divine intervention in other points in his life and perhaps in other people's life its hard when a case screaming for divine intervention doesn't get it .

So everyone in the community suddenly goes into a defensive mode defending God defending interpretation of God defending their beliefs and how they can elicit miracles from the almighty even though this time it didn't work.

My friends know that a particular event in 2008 a friend dying young relatively was one of several simultaneous events that brought me into a deep depression in the beginning of what I've termed my personal tribulation.  Years of questioning my faith questioning everything and it brings me to a very simplistic and skeptical faith. I lost my innocence a long time ago. I have seen too many promises and declarations unfulfilled. And even as scary as it is...sometimes I still see this world as God's big ant farm.

So do these practices of faith believing God trusting God speaking faith... do they even tip the scales or even budge the scales? does it change any outcomes?

I know that we are told that "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."
But how does He reward?

I have a hard time believing for miracles while I stroll through the graveyard.

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