Bland, boring, flexible.

You keep changing what you like...
You don't care about anything anymore...
You are impossible to shop for at Christmas...

And I'm trying to figure out how much of that is the Bland setting in with the Busy.

I have been known to download apps on my phone, play them for a while, and once they get too hard or too addictive or too demanding, just delete them
(Candy Crush, FIFA among others)

Sports...see other blog.

TV... while my FB feed was full of people looking forward to the next ep of Game of Boobs, I was trying to finish watching Star Trek: Deep Space 9. And now I'm picking from some of the better episodes of the original Star trek series. I have a TV in my bedroom, I never turn it on.
 I usually watch Netflix in the living room.
 There's a cable TV app for my cable provider where I can watch any of the channels we have, I never use it except when my wife wants me to figure out why it's not working.

My wife is mad that there's so little I deeply care about. I'm trying to figure out how much of that is a safety mechanism, realizing how busy I am and how I have to be FLEXIBLE...

That's the word of the decade. Flexible. Being able to find employment based on everyone else's needs.

Night shift. Work from home. Not taking the job when it outsourced 37 miles away. Second shift. Grocery runs in the middle of delivery runs.

I occasionally ask Ivy how she would feel if I got a six-figure job (which is more than we've ever made combined right now) where I had to be at my desk from 8 to 5, 30 to 50 miles away in the big city. To her that's a nightmare.

Rambling, but I guess I'm thinking about both the bland and the flexible and how they relate, how I'm bent ten different ways like a pipe cleaner.

I tried to imagine what I would do with a massive windfall. And after all the essentials, I drew a blank. Besides generic "success" / having enough for everyone else to do what they want...

Except...I keep coming back to Julia Roberts' character with Eggs Benedict...

Playing ball without me

I think I've hit the point where I follow sports only to have intelligent conversation at the water cooler.

The two biggest KC games in the last year: MLS Sporting KC conference final, second leg (11/29/18, L 2-3)
NFL KC Chiefs conference final (1/20/19, L 31-37 OT)

I drove to pick up my daughter during the first game.
I watched the first half, then went to bed for the second half and overtime of the second game.

(Yeah, I should probably turn in my fan card now)

I'm already priced out of going to the stadium, buying jerseys and major merch (for the record, I have a SKC keychain... somewhere, and a Chiefs lanyard that I keep my keys on so I don't lock myself out of my car)

Part of it is the irregular schedule. I've been working 50+ hours for 18 months now. I have to make choices.

And part of it is ... (See other blog)

I'm not shaming people who enjoy major league sports or go to the stadium or buy jerseys.

I'm just saying that I don't fit.

When I dream of old Missouri

Got a letter in the mail.
Alumni directory.

I called to update my information.

And then the questions started coming, what is your current career headline?

(I could say customer service expert, which doesn't say much, or say computer programmer but I haven't done that in 8 years)

837: Let's leave that blank

What's your current occupation

(Driving Chinese making $17 an hour and stocking overnight at Price Chopper...
But do I want to put that in a college directory)

Let's leave that one blank for now

...

well we have a beautiful directory with this perk that perk and the other perk, for a tax-deductible contribution of $25 and 2 easy payments of $169

*click*

Seriously, I think I could do quite well not thinking about my college degree.

Everyone asks, why aren't you in the computer field... Life happens and some of my skills are in programming languages and tools that are two decades-old.

I graduated summa cum laude from my college in the class of 2000, and now I'm making more doing two jobs and none of them require even a high school degree, than I ever did as a computer programmer working 40 hours a week with occasional business trips.

I occasionally toyed with the idea of pointing out to the computer science math and physics department of my college that one of their alumni is a occasional contributor to a feature on one of the world's most popular blogs. https://fivethirtyeight.com/?s=Steven+pratt

But then there'd be conversations like the one at the top of this page to make me go, nah.

The glory days are gone.

Just Another Day

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New Year's Day '19 (11½)
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Most of the time, people give a really weird look when you say "It's Just Another Day" but looking at the big days of 2018, I'm just continuing to march on the treadmill.

Two real days off in the second half of '18 - one sick day and one holiday.

On the one hand, the one constant of this decade has been change... I'm on jobs 8 and 9 this decade. But on the other hand I don't see anything changing or any pressure being relieved from the situation.

Bill still come due and they got to be paid somehow.

Lord Jesus give me strength.

My children's Eclipse skit

In honor of our church drama team and the play they just performed...

MM # 114
P.O.D.
Youth of the Nation

Last day of the rest of my life
I wish I would've known
Cause I didn't kiss my mama goodbye

I didn't tell her that I loved her and how much I care
Or thank my pops for all the talks
And all the wisdom he shared

Unaware, I just did what I always do
Everyday, the same routine
Before I skate off to school

But who knew that this day wasn't like the rest
Instead of taking a test
I took two to the chest

Call me blind, but I didn't see it coming
Everybody was running
But I couldn't hear nothing

Except gun blasts, it happened so fast
I don't really know this kid
Even though I sit by him in class

Maybe this kid was reaching out for love
Or maybe for a moment
He forgot who he was
Or maybe this kid just wanted to be hugged
Whatever it was
I know it's because

[chorus:]
We are, We are, the youth of the nation

Little Suzy, she was only twelve
She was given the world
With every chance to excel

Hang with the boys and hear the stories they tell
She might act kind of proud
But no respect for herself

She finds love in all the wrong places
The same situations
Just different faces

Changed up her pace since her daddy left her
Too bad he never told her
She deserved much better

Johnny boy always played the fool
He broke all the rules
So you would think he was cool

He was never really one of the guys
No matter how hard he tried
Often thought of suicide

It's kind of hard when you ain't got no friends
He put his life to an end
They might remember him then

You cross the line and there's no turning back
Told the world how he felt
With the sound of a gat

[chorus]

Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim
No matter what you say
It don't take away the pain

That I feel inside, I'm tired of all the lies
Don't nobody know why
It's the blind leading the blind

I guess that's the way the story goes
Will it ever make sense
Somebody's got to know

There's got to be more to life than this
There's got to be more to everything
I thought exists


[chorus]

Abernathy

Eight years, eleven months. Then nine more months.

I've spent a quarter of my life, and half of my career working at the last building on the right, before one crosses the bridge over the Missouri River into Missouri from Leavenworth, KS.

I worked as a simulation programmer on the third floor, then we moved to the first floor. Years later, I trained as a call center representative for a bank on the first floor, then made it back to the third floor.

One of those jobs was my highest paying job. The other was my favorite job - and my shortest commute for a full time job.

But, everything changes. The contract for the war game finally expired. The bank outsourced the call center to another company in Lawrence and St. Joseph.
And now, the building has been sold.
And the new owners are going to convert the building into... Apartments.

It's yet another chapter closing, another landmark transforming.  Nothing lasts forever.

Sigh.

Footprints on the moon

Ran another March Madness bracket style contest with my brother. This one finished in the top 5

MM#113

"I'll Be That"
Jimmy Wayne

Baby lay back
Dream out loud
Tell me the things you wish for
And think about

You ain't gonna scare me
No I ain't gonna run
Come on and whisper your fantasies to me
One by one
They may not be as crazy as you think

[Chorus]
The sun in the morning, kissing your skin
A blanket of night that you're wrapped up in
Your lover, that one best friend
I'll be that, I'll be that
The one that'll stand and fight for you
A safe place you can run to
The truth in the words I Do
I'll be that to you

I'll spend forever
Here in your arms
Learning your body language
Til I know it by heart

And I'll be beside you
Whatever you face
You see diamonds are made
Between a rock and a hard place
If you let me
Baby I can be

[Repeat Chorus]

The sky's not the limit
Cause there's footprints on the moon
Just think how far my love would go for you

[Repeat Chorus]

I'll be that to you
Lay back baby
The sun in the morning, kissing your skin
The blanket you're wrapped up in
Oh I'll be that, I'll be that to you